Thursday, February 10, 2011

...still don't know any card games.

I needed a break from the computer and thought I would do my long-suffering wife a wee favour by tidying up the randomly-discarded and thoughtlessly-placed decks of cards that seem to litter every flat surface I pass by.

I then dug out all the bricks of new playing cards that I have bought but not yet used.

It made a big pile.

I emptied out jacket pockets, checked the glove compartment in the car (and the doorwells...and the trunk), unzipped the tops of our backpacks, dug around in my the bedside table...beside the tv, on the coffee tables (two of them) and gradually cleansed our living space of pasteboards.

A few years back I remember laughing when I read a message posted on a magicians' bulletin board online that said:
"You know you may be a magician own more than 20 decks of cards but still can't play any card games."

Hmmmmm. I counted up the old decks - ones thinner than 52 after having spectators sign and keep souvenirs, or ones that are simply dead, too soft or no longer fan-able, damaged from shuffling and so on. I wasn't too surprised to find just over a hundred of them around the house.

The issue is what do you do with them once they're past the useful stage? They're no good for giving away to card players as they're all undoubtedly mis-matched decks. They may have 52 in the box but I'd be surprised if any one of them was actually a full deck. While I'm working, if I give away a signed card (which I do...a lot) I replace it with a random card from a spare deck in my back pocket so that I can work all night and still have more than a pathetic half-dozen cards left in my hand by the end.

I could practice all those moves that require ruining cards: card folds, torn-and-restored card routines and so on. And sometimes I do. I recently even started making origami card-frogs for people but frankly there's a limit to how many of those you can do in a night before your client starts to wonder why they booked you to do magic if all you're going to do is make hoppy-toys instead.

So they pile up. Two decks in a night, maybe three over a weekend, and before you know it you're swimming in the things.

What surprised me wasn't so much the fact that I had over a hundred old dead decks, but rather the fact that I seem to have nearly as many brand new decks. How does this happen?

The answer is Costco.

Great deal on Bicycle decks, granted, but the issue is the same that haunts people who shop for food while they're hungry. I go to Costco for cereal but always end up in the books aisle and, well, I can't remember how many new decks I still have at home so I buy another couple of bricks of the things.

I'm taking after my dad. When I was younger he had a habit of going out for groceries and coming home with lightbulbs, hummous and Quaker Harvest Crunch. Every time. And this was regardless of the fact that his larder was quite neatly subdivided into three sections: one for lightbulbs, one for packets of hummous, and one for Quaker Harvest Crunch.

And the rabbit photo below? No reason.
'Cos who needs one?


  1. Suggestions for old cards:

    1. Solitaire players don't need a fancy deck (or even a deck with matching backs), they just need it to have all 52 cards.

    2. Small children (between the ages of 4 to 6) LOVE decks of cards. They don't care if the decks aren't complete or the backs don't match, they just love to play with them. Heck, when we were kids, we played all kinds of games with less-than-a-full-deck of what we had for cards.

    3. You don't need a matching deck (or even a full deck) to make a house of cards, they just have to be strong enough to bear the load.

    There doesn't need to be a reason to post a bunny pic, but in the case of your two puffballs, it should be mandatory no matter what the posting subject. :)

  2. Hi, You have beautiful rabbits. Yes they should definately be mandatory haha.